It is undisputedly true that the most stressful kind of case for family lawyers is a high conflict custody case. Likely areas of conflict between the parties range from the amount of parenting time, being late and/or coming early for visitation, not giving appropriate clothing during parenting time, to much more serious items such as children's and parents' illnesses, relocation, domestic violence and drug and alcohol use. The children of these high conflict families become withdrawn, depressed and/or aggressive because of these constant conflicts. These kinds of conflicts often become an insoluble and continuous problems to the family law practitioner (who also sometimes becomes withdrawn, depressed and/or aggressive when forced to deal with these problems). The only solution, up until recently, that a family lawyer had was to go back into court and ask the Court to attempt to resolve the dispute. The answer the Court often gave, however, is that it does not want to micro-manage the parties' lives. Thus, the
lawyer was forced to either do nothing, try to cmmsel the client into reaching a solution (a job we are not trained to do) or refer the parties to a therapist for individual or family counseling. None of these solutions are appealing or satisfying because they are, at best, a band-aid for a problem that needs more intensive solutions. However, for approximately the last ten years there has been an increasing use of a person known as a parent coordinator (PC) to resolve these kinds of problems. The definition of what a parent coordinator is, and what they do is complex and changes from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. Indeed, it is perhaps easier to define what a parent coordinator is not than what a parent coordinator is. For instance: A Parent Coordinator Is Not a Forensics Evaluator. A parent coordinator's job is not to determine the fitness of the parents. They do not do testing and do not clinically evaluate the parties to determine who should have custody. A parent coordinator is not a law guardian. The law guardian's job is to represent and advocate for a child. While a parent coordinator often acts in the best interests of the child, or, perhaps, more properly, in the best interests of the family, this is far different than advocating for a child. Most importantly, first and foremost, a parent coordinator is a neutral party, not an advocate for any individual in the family.
A parent coordinator is not a therapist. While a parent coordinator may use therapeutic methods in attempting to resolve problems, they do not conduct therapy on an ongoing basis either individually or with the family, nor is there confidentiality with a PC as there would be with a therapist. A parent coordinator is not a judge. While parent coordinators may make judgments as to certain issues that have been delegated to them by the Court, a PC has no way of enforcing such decision and they are not usually empowered with the authority of a judge, nor can they modify court orders. A parent coordinator is not a financial mediator. Parent coordinators do not have any training or experience in resolving financial matters. What, then, is a parent coordinator? A parent coordinator is the one person involved in a divorce or post-divorce proceeding who does not have "a dog in the fight". They are a neutral. The parent coordinator is not an attorney, an advocate or a therapist, but rather their job is to help the parents learn to solve problems. According to the AFCC Parent Coordinator Guidelines, a parent coordinator's overall objective is to assist high conflict parents to implement their
parenting plan, to monitor compliance with the details of the plan, to resolve conflicts regarding their children and the parenting plan in a timely manner and to protect and sustain safe, healthy and meaningful parent/child relationships. 1 Further, their role is to coach the parents on effective co-parenting techniques and to help the parents to make joint parenting decisions, and to teach parents strategies for learning how to resolve these conflicts themselves. Most importantly, they are and they should be seen by all parties as a neutral who has no interest other than the family's best interest, in resolving disputes. It may be said that there are three different levels of decision making that parent coordinators are involved with. The first level involves short-term practical matters that are often time sensitive. This includes such problems as clarification of details of a parenting plan, deciding on places to exchange children or how often one parent may call a child in a day. The Parent Coordinator usually can resolve these without Court intervention. The second level of decision making concerns issues that have a long-tem1 effect on the parenting plan, but do not make substantial changes in the roles of the parents or do not significantly change the percentage of time that either parent spends with the children. Such issues might include international travel, summer camp or consent for a child to get a driver's license or having a child evaluated for a psychological or physical problem. Usually, these issues can be resolved with the help of the PC, but sometimes Court intervention is needed. The third level of problem solving involves dealing with issues that will involve major changes to the parenting plan. Examples of this issue are supervised visitation, relocation and modification of decision making authority. These issues often involve modification of Court orders and always, necessarily, involve the
1 AFCC Guidelines for Parenting Coordinator, 2005
Court.
A parent coordinator can attempt to deal with problems on all 3 levels because he or she is the only person involved in the entire divorce process who can speak to all parties, therapists, attorneys, the law guardian and the judge but yet remain neutral. A parent coordinator has authority to attempt to solve these problems, access to all parties and the therapeutic tools needed to deal with all concerned parties. In other words, unlike the lawyers who are advocates for one side, the parent coordinator's job is to work out compromises or negotiated solutions with the family. Parent Coordinators listen to both parents and the children, may speak to third parties, make recommendations, teach parents strategies for resolving problems themselves and, if pennitted by the Court order appointing the parent coordinator, make short term detenninations in the event of an emergency, without the consent of the parents. The parent coordinator will also make recommendations to the Court as to what he or she believes is the appropriate solution to a problem if he or she cannot resolve the problem. The parenting coordination process is designed to assist parents in making decisions and resolving conflicts and to keep all the parties out of Court. It, hopefully, leads to a more peaceful environment for children and parents alike. While a general definition of a PC's role might include identifying disputed issues, reducing conflict, clarify priorities, exploring possibilities for compromise, developing methods of collaboration in parenting and helping the parties to comply with court orders involving custody and parenting time, there is no conformity as to the definition of what, if any, enforcement or final decision making powers parent coordinators have. Indeed, state rules and statutes vary widely across the country. In Idaho, a parent coordinator may "perform such duties as authorized by the Court consistent with any
controlling judgment or order... relating to the child or children of the parties.2 In Florida, a proposed model order may give the parent coordinator authority to monitor implementation of the parenting plan, facilitate resolution of disputes regarding the parenting plan as long as no substantial change of such plan is involved, report to Court and identify for the Court the need for a decision on a particular issue.3 In Oklahoma, any decisions made by the parent coordinator authorized by the Court order and issued pursuant to the Parenting Coordinator Act are binding on the parties until further order of the Court.4 In Colorado, an entire other level of intervention exists beyond the PC. Colorado has created the role a Decision Maker. The decision maker is a person, whom upon agreement of the parents, may interpret the existing parenting plan and is authorized to make binding decisions for the family (thus they act as an arbitrator).5 Hence, the range of authority for parent coordinator spans the entire spectrum from little authority to judge-like power.
2 Idaho statutes 32-717D
3 Florida 11tl, Circuit Model Parenting Plan
4 Oklahoma Title 43 § 120.1 et seq
5 Colorado Statute 14-10-128 et seq
Further, since there is no national certification, license or even qualifications for parent coordinators, the PC must often have different qualifications to work in different states. In some states, there are no qualifications needed. Indeed, a quick Google search shows that there are so-called experts (as well as tme experts) who list themselves on the internet or on Craig's list as "parent coordinators." Since there is no license for parent coordinators in any state, anyone can call themself a "parent coordinator." Consumers have no way of evaluating the qualifications of such people. Since, as the popularity ofPCs increases, some families are attempting to hire parent coordinator's privately, outside of the judicial arena, without uniform qualifications, it is clear that this is an area where govermnent oversight is necessary. The possibility of parents and children being damaged by unqualified people is great. Moreover, even when state requirements exist, there is wide variation in what is mandated and the necessity of having required qualifications apply only to judicial proceedings. In Texas, for instance, therapists, counselors, psychologists, social workers, educators, mediators and attorneys can attend a three day training classes in order to be certified as parenting coordinators.6 In Idaho, a parenting coordinator must be a mediator certified by the Supreme Court and have participated in at least 20 hours of training in domestic violence and lethality assessment.7 Vermont requires an individual to have at least five years experience working with high conflict families in a professional capacity and have 140 hours of training in various areas. 8 On the other hand, in some states there are no requirements for parent coordinators and it is simply left to the discretion of each trial judge to choose such a person. Clearly, a unified approach to training
6 Texas Family Code §153-610
7 Idaho Statutes §32-717 Det. Seq.
8 Vermont Administrative Order 42, August 2007
is necessary in order to ensure that every family who uses a parent coordinator receives appropriate competent services. Fortunately, there are areas of general agreement as to some of the regulations regarding parent coordinators. For instance, by its nature, the parent coordinating process is not confidential and, almost universally, all rules designate the parties must be made aware of this. Many states require a written waiver of all privilege and rules regarding confidentiality. Additionally, the parent coordinator is mandated to report child abuse or neglect, even though they are not acting as therapists. Another area of agreement is that the parent coordinator cannot perform multiple sequential roles. Thus, once appointed as a parent coordinator, a person cannot later serve as a child advocate, custody evaluator, therapist or lawyer for any of the parties, nor should they attempt to provide these services during the parent coordinating process. It is apparent that the parent coordinator has become a necessary adjunct in the divorce process. A parent coordinator is the only person in the divorce process that has authority, access to parties and the clinical skills needed to help resolve conflicts and to teach parents how to solve these problems themselves. However, in a world where parents constantly move across state lines, and even across the country, a unifonn approach to training, authority and enforcement powers is necessary if the parent coordination process is to be effective and families are going to receive uniformly competent services.
